The holiday season is often about joy, togetherness, and celebration. Living with fibromyalgia adds to our stress, pain, and exhaustion. The busy schedule, social engagements, and physical demands of the holidays can leave us feeling overwhelmed, mentally foggy, or in more pain than usual. As someone who cares for a person with fibromyalgia, it’s important to recognize these challenges and create a holiday environment where your loved one feels supported, understood, and included—without adding to their burden.

If you’re wondering how best to support someone with fibromyalgia during the Christmas season, here’s some thoughtful tips and strategies that will make a big difference.

Understand the Invisible Struggles

Fibromyalgia is an invisible illness, meaning its symptoms aren’t always apparent to others. For your loved one, this means they could be experiencing widespread pain, fatigue, cognitive issues (aka “fibro fog”), and more—even if it’s not visible. The hustle and bustle of the holidays can trigger these symptoms, making everyday tasks even more challenging.

How Fibromyalgia Can Impact Us at Christmas:

Increased Pain and Fatigue: The holiday preparations—shopping, hosting, cleaning—can be physically taxing. Your loved one might want to participate but struggles with fatigue or pain that makes it hard to keep up.

Overstimulation: Bright lights, loud music, crowded rooms, and busy environments can overwhelm our senses, causing heightened pain or brain fog.

Cognitive Fog: Fibromyalgia doesn’t just cause physical discomfort—it can cloud mental clarity, making it harder for us to remember names, follow conversations, or make decisions.

What You Can Do:

Recognize these invisible struggles and create a supportive environment where your loved one feels comfortable, validated, and not pressured to do more than they’re capable of. The goal is to help them enjoy the holidays without adding to their strain.

Flexibility is Key: Let the Season Adapt to Our Needs

While the holiday season is often packed with events, for someone with fibromyalgia, sticking to a rigid schedule can be overwhelming. Flexibility allows your loved one to enjoy the season on their own terms, without feeling rushed or pressured.

Practical Examples of Flexibility:

Adjust Event Times: If your loved one experiences fatigue in the evening, consider hosting gatherings during the day—perhaps a cozy afternoon tea or an early family dinner. Late-night events can be exhausting, so having earlier options allows us to enjoy the celebration without overextending ourselves.

Shorter Visits, More Comfort: A long, drawn-out event may be too much for those of us with fibromyalgia. Consider shortening visits or hosting low-pressure get-togethers, so we can socialize without fear of overdoing it. For instance, an early dinner instead of a late-night feast gives us time to rest and enjoy without getting too fatigued.

Offer Breaks: During parties, make sure your loved one knows it’s perfectly okay to step away for some quiet time. Offering a private space to rest or take a breather is a small but thoughtful gesture that will help us recharge.

Create a Holiday Space That Calms the Senses

The holidays are often filled with bright lights, loud music, and lots of stimulation—all of which can overwhelm someone with fibromyalgia. You can help create a calm, welcoming space that minimizes sensory overload and provides a sense of relaxation.

How to Design a Comfortable Space:

Soothing Lighting: Instead of harsh, bright lights, use softer, warmer lighting. A few well-placed fairy lights or dim lamps can create a relaxing atmosphere that doesn’t overwhelm the senses.

Quiet Zones: If you’re hosting, designate a quiet room where your loved one can take a break from the noise and commotion. A comfortable chair and a peaceful environment will allow us to recharge without feeling guilty for stepping away.

Temperature Control: Extreme temperatures, whether too cold or too hot, can trigger fibromyalgia flare-ups. Make sure your home is comfortably warm, without being stuffy, and consider offering blankets or extra layers to keep your loved one cozy.

Offer Practical Help—But Do It with Empathy

The holiday season brings an avalanche of tasks—shopping, cooking, cleaning, wrapping presents—and for someone with fibromyalgia, these chores can feel overwhelming. Offering practical help is a meaningful way to show you care, but it’s important to do so with empathy, not pity.

How to Help with Holiday Tasks:

Share the Cooking: Offer to help with the cooking—whether it’s chopping vegetables, preparing side dishes, or cleaning up afterward. Taking some of the kitchen duties off our plates allows us to rest and enjoy the meal without overexerting ourselves.

Offer to Shop: If the thought of crowded malls or grocery stores is too much, offer to do the shopping. Whether it’s picking up gifts or groceries, the gesture will be appreciated. You could say, “I’m happy to help with the shopping this year. What do you need?”

Help with Gift Wrapping: After a long day, wrapping gifts can feel like a monumental task. Offer to take this chore off our hands, or even do it entirely. It’s a small but effective way to reduce stress.

Be Patient and Acknowledge Our Experiences

Fibromyalgia isn’t just physically demanding—it’s mentally and emotionally challenging as well. Your loved one may struggle with memory, concentration, or socializing due to “fibro fog.” Patience and understanding are essential in helping them feel supported, not pressured.

Ways to Show Patience:

Respect the Need for Rest: If your loved one needs to step away for a nap or some quiet time, don’t take it personally. It’s not about avoiding the family—it’s about self-care.

Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge our struggles. For example, say, “I understand you’re feeling fatigued. Take all the time you need to rest.”

Avoid Pressuring Us: Don’t push us to participate in every activity. Allow us to enjoy what we can, without the stress of feeling guilty for not doing more.

Encourage Connection Through Support Groups

For someone living with fibromyalgia, it can feel isolating, especially during the holidays when we may struggle to keep up with everyone else. One of the best ways to combat loneliness and build a sense of community is through support groups. Encouraging your loved one to connect with others who understand our experiences can be incredibly therapeutic.

Support Group Options:

Fibromyalgia Association Canada (FAC): FAC offers a wealth of information and peer support opportunities for those living with fibromyalgia. FAC is hosting “Holiday Hangouts” every Monday throughout December and the first Monday in January.  Come join us and share your experiences and connect with others who understand what you’re going through. Sign up here https://fibrocanada.ca/en/fac-holiday-hangouts/

Online and Virtual Gatherings: Many people with fibromyalgia find that virtual support groups are a great option during the holidays. These groups allow individuals to connect, share tips, and support one another without the physical exhaustion of in-person meetings.

Educate Yourself and Encourage Understanding

Understanding fibromyalgia and its impact on your loved one’s daily life is one of the most powerful ways you can show support. The more you learn, the more empathetic and informed your actions will be.

Canadian Resources for Education:

Fibromyalgia Association Canada (FAC): Check out FAC for helpful information and support networks, both for individuals living with fibromyalgia and their families.

Arthritis Society Canada: Offers valuable educational resources to help families and caregivers better understand fibromyalgia. Visit their website at arthritis.ca.

Canadian Pain Society: A great resource for understanding chronic pain management and how it relates to fibromyalgia. Visit Canadian Pain Society.

Embrace the Spirit of Care and Connection

The holiday season is about connection, love, and understanding. Supporting someone with fibromyalgia doesn’t require grand gestures; the small, thoughtful actions make all the difference. By being flexible, offering practical help, creating a calming space, encouraging participation in support groups, and educating yourself, you can ensure that your loved one feels cared for and included—no matter the challenges of the season.

This Christmas let’s focus on what truly matters: connection, empathy, and showing our loved ones that we’re here for them, in good times and bad. Your support will make this holiday season brighter and more enjoyable for everyone.

Gift Suggestions for Someone with Fibromyalgia:

References:

Fibromyalgia Association Canada (FAC): https://fibrocanada.ca/en/

Arthritis Society Canada: https://arthritis.ca

Canadian Pain Society: https://canadianpainsociety.ca

Mayo Clinic – Fibromyalgia: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fibromyalgia/symptoms-causes/syc-20354780

National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases: https://www.niams.nih.gov/health-topics/fibromyalgia